Puckish Rogue
by heidipoo
Summary: Drabbles and oneshots featuring the boss and other members of the third street saints. Requests are welcomed.
1. Teacup

**Author's Note: So I know it's been a while since I've written Saints Row, but I've missed it. This is a request that I got so I hope y'all enjoy it, and I'm still taking requests too. All you have to do is send me a PM with the details. Life is very busy for me right now, so I write when I can. Anyway, be sure to read and review, and check out my author's page for other cool stuff.**

* * *

The boss sighed as she walked into her newest safe house. "Feels good to be home..." She mumbled to herself. She was glad the day was over, and she was glad it had been a successful day like always. The Saints flow couldn't get any better than what it already was. But now, she was tired, and she was ready to relax and get some much needed rest for whatever tomorrow would bring. Shutting the door behind her, the boss then made her way into the small kitchen of the safe house. She opened the fridge and grabbed a beer, then made her way to sit on one of the couches in the living room. Propping her feet up on the table, she flipped on the big screen TV, and took a drink of her beer.

But, she only got a few minutes of peace and quiet before Oleg burst through the door looking rather distressed, "Boss..." He managed to get out, and he seemed to be out of breath so he must have rushed over here rather quickly. The boss immediately assumed that something was wrong with the Saints.

"What is it?" She asked, looking the giant man over as he stood in front of her.

"I need your help boss." Oleg answered with pleading eyes.

She nodded, "Okay sit down." She replied, gesturing to the couch. Oleg obliged then took a seat. "Now, what's the problem?" She asked, hoping it wasn't anything too serious.

"It's Kinzie." Oleg stated simply.

"What about her?" The boss shrugged in response, glad that it was nothing.

The giant man hesitated, "I'm not sure how to put this into words."

She chuckled, "Come on, it can't be that bad." She said. "Just say it." He remained silent for a few more seconds and the boss sighed once again. "I'm not going to be able to help you if I don't know what the problem is." She told him as she leaned back and put her feet back up on the table.

"Okay." He said with a nod. "I..." He trailed off for a moment, struggling for the right word. "I'm a little infatuated with her." He finally said, and the boss nearly spit out her beer that she had just taken a drink of.

"You like her?" The boss asked incredulously. "Holy shit..." In truth, Oleg had taken an interest in the tech savvy saint ever since he'd been rescued. He thought she was beyond intelligent, and her being pretty was also a big bonus. They had a lot of things in common too, and Oleg figured that he should make his move now or never before he lost the chance for good.

"Why are you surprised?" Oleg asked. "Is it not normal?"

"Kinzie... She's just... Fucking weird." The boss explained, trying to find the right words. "I didn't think she'd be your type really." She added.

"So you don't think she will like me too?" He questioned, looking over at the woman.

The boss shook her head, "I'm not saying that." She answered. "I'm just saying that Kinzie is into some weird shit, okay? Trust me, I know from first hand experience."

"Oh..." Oleg replied, unsure of a better answer.

"Look Oleg, I'm gonna level with you." The boss said. "If you like her, go for it. Who knows? Maybe you're both into some weird shit." She explained. "But Kinzie is a little... Shy? I think that might be the wrong word. I don't know, just go talk to her."

Oleg nodded, "I will. Thanks for your help boss." He said as he stood up.

"No problem." She replied as she watched Oleg walk out of her safe house. At least she'd be able to get some rest now without anyone bothering her.

The next morning when Oleg got up, he got dressed and headed to Smiling Jacks, which was where Kinzie always went to get breakfast. He desperately hoped that she would be there so that he could talk to her. In his mind, he still hadn't made up a game plan. Was he going to ask her out? Was he just going to talk to her? What in the hell was going to happen? What if she even shot him down? Then he'd feel embarrassed and out of place and things would be awkward for them while they were carrying out Saints duties.

When he walked into Smiling Jacks, he felt his heart speed up as it thumped against his chest. His steps got smaller and smaller as he came closer to her favorite table. "Kinzie?" He finally said, knowing that the ex FBI agent was sitting under the table with her laptop. Oleg then saw her head peek out just a bit.

"Oleg?" She questioned.

"Can we talk?" He asked. He figured it would be best to just get right down to business.

"About what? The boss said we didn't have anything to do today." She said as she closed her laptop and stood up in front of Oleg.

"It's not about the Saints." Oleg answered, feeling his cheeks getting a little warmer.

"Okay." Kinzie nodded. "Let's go outside though, we don't want people eavesdropping on our conversation." She explained and Oleg nodded, following her outside the door and into the parking lot of Smiling Jacks. "So what is it?" She asked, turning around to face the much taller man.

"Would it... Uh... Would-" Oleg couldn't even get his words out.

Kinzie laughed, "I've never seen you so flustered before." She pointed out.

"Could I take you... On a date?" He finally managed to get out, and honestly, Kinzie was taken by surprise. She had no idea that the Russian was interested in her like that. Because to be honest, she had a little bit of an infatuation with him too but she never admitted it because the boss always teased her about it.

"Me?" She questioned.

"Yes." Oleg said in almost a sigh of relief.

"Are you sure?" She asked again.

"Very sure." He answered.

She nodded, "Okay."

"I'll see you tonight then? We'll go to dinner." He said, already thinking of all the restaurants that he could take her to.

Kinzie smiled, "And maybe afterwards we can make use of the word teacup." This of course, only confused Oleg because he didn't know that the word teacup was Kinzie Kensington's safe word. "I'll see you later Oleg." She said, and she went back inside to finish her breakfast.


	2. Useless Things

**Author's Note: I've had this oneshot idea for a while but I've been busy with other stories so I haven't had the time to write it. Anyways, here it is my lovelies. This oneshot is inspired by the cut scene where Pierce and the boss are in Kinzie's warehouse and Pierce finds the penetrator. So yeah, enjoy, and I regret nothing. Be sure to check out my other stories, and I'm still taking requests!**

* * *

Ex FBI agent, Kinzie Kensington, sat angrily and rather annoyed at one of her many computers inside her inner sanctum, or better known as her warehouse in Steelport. Her red locks of ginger hair were tied up into a messy bun with some strands of hair in front of her pixie like face, and she was wearing her usual FBI jacket, only this time with sweats and not jeans. She was dressed for comfort to say the least.

The small girl sighed in extreme annoyance. She couldn't quite finish this particular hack, and it was agitating her to no end. Usually hacking was one of her specialties; a piece of cake in fact. But now she just couldn't get it right. Frustrated, she shut her computer down and decided she'd try the hack again later. An expert on computers, she didn't know why she was having problems hacking this time. Maybe it was her software? Oh well, for now, she would lay down and try to clear her head. The tech savvy saint had had enough of her computers for now.

But her efforts to get rest were to no avail, and soon there was a hard knock on her warehouse door. What the hell was it now? No one ever came to visit her at the warehouse, unless it was the boss with saints business of course. With another annoyed sigh, she headed towards the door of the warehouse and pulled it open. Much to her surprise, it was none other than her intellectual, good friend Oleg. He was dressed in his normal saints wear, an awkward smile written on his face.

"Good morning mousy one." He greeted with a small smile. Kinzie looked around outside in confusion as the rays of new sunlight blinded her, oh yeah it was morning. When was the last time she had even looked outside? She racked her brain for an answer, it at least had been three weeks. Three weeks since she had left her home. Wow, she really had to get it together. She didn't like the outside, or people for that matter. That was why she stayed inside the majority of her time.

"Good morning Oleg." The ginger replied tiredly, then yawned. It was really dawning on her now, but she could repress it for Oleg's sake. "Here with some saint's business?" Kinzie guessed. In that moment a miraculous thing happened. Oleg actually blushed! It wasn't very noticable, but Kinzie could most definitely tell. His cheeks turned a very subtle and light shade of pink. And she could hardly even believe it herself if it wasn't for her own eyes witnessing it. What in the hell was up with Oleg today?

"Actually no." Oleg replied. "I wanted to know if you'd like to attend smiling Jack's with me to get some breakfast... It was the boss' idea." He added.

"That damn boss..." Kinzie internally scowled. The damn boss was always trying to get her and Oleg together. It wasn't like Kinzie didn't have feelings for the Russian, she liked him a lot actually. He was kind, and a gentle giant, and intelligent too. She liked all those things about him. They were good qualities to have. After all, he was her Russian super man. But she just wasn't comfortable dealing with those kind of certain situations yet. Hell, she couldn't even go out into the public, let alone go on a date with somebody.

"She insisted that we get to know each other a little better." Oleg said sheepishly. "She even gave me money to take you out." He chuckled slightly. Wow, so the boss really wanted them to go out that bad, huh? Kinzie scowled once more, why didn't the boss just say that in the first place? She could be so annoying at times, but Kinzie still liked her nonetheless.

"Just breakfast?" Kinzie asked hesitantly, afraid of going outside. Oleg was aware of her fear too.

"I hear they make some pretty delicious pancakes..." Oleg said, referring to smiling Jack's. Kinzie did like pancakes, they were her favorite breakfast food; especially with bananas. Maybe she could just go out, just this once. Hell, it wouldn't kill her to go out and treat herself just for one time in her life. And if the boss was paying, then what was the problem? But she knew what the problem was; it was that she didn't like going out in public.

"Smiling Jack's?" Kinzie asked raising a ginger eyebrow. It did sound nice, she was hungry, and that's the only other place she liked to go out in public. Oleg merely nodded as Kinzie looked up at him and his tall form. She liked the fact that he was much taller than her, it was somewhat cute, if you thought about it. There she was getting lost in her thoughts again...

"Where else?" He retorted sarcastically causing a smile to pull at the corner of Kinzie's full lips. He had a sense of humor too. Well, he wasn't always funny but still Kinzie thought it was cute that he was trying to make her laugh. It seemed as though Oleg was always trying with her. But he couldn't help it, he was infatuated with her, and he just wanted to make her happy.

"Sure." She answered. "Just let me pull myself together." She said looking down at herself and grimacing at her sweat pants. "You can come in if you'd like."

"Okay." Oleg replied simply and followed the small girl inside her inner sanctum. Kinzie then went frantically searching for a pair of jeans, and at that moment, she immediately regretted that she never cleaned her home. She was actually surprised that she wanted to go outside. The outside usually bothered her. Maybe her little crush on Oleg was having an effect on her. Just maybe... "Kinzie?" Oleg called out from the other room pulling the computer expert out of her thoughts.

"Uh yeah?" She answered back and went to where Oleg was standing in the warehouse.

"What are these?" He asked in confusion as he held up some of Kinzie's sex toys. The redhead was at a loss for words. Why didn't she hide them before? She mentally kicked herself for leaving them out in the open like that. Of course, she wasn't embarrassed though. After all, she was only human, and all humans had their needs. Even sexual needs.

"My toys." She answered simply as she looked them over. She had all kinds of different vibrators, gags, and even anal beads.

Oleg chuckled, "That I can see mousy one." He replied then laughed again. "Why would you need things this ridiculous?" The Russian asked and that's when Kinzie got confused. What did he mean by that?

"Females get aroused too, you know?" She replied nonchalantly, and Oleg chuckled again.

"That I know too." He answered.

"Then what do you mean?" Kinzie asked flustered. Yeah, she was smart, but Oleg was playing some kind of trick on her or something. Men 101 was not something she had studied. Especially not Smart Russian Super Men 101. Oleg was definitely something unique. And she couldn't quite guess what he was getting at here, it only confused her if she was being honest with herself.

"I mean, why would a beautiful intellect such as yourself need these useless things?" Oleg asked again as he put the toys down. "Surely, you can get a man... Or a woman?" Oleg concluded and this time it was Kinzie's turn to blush slightly. Did he just say the word beautiful?

"Oleg, it's not that simple." Kinzie replied. "I don't like people."

"But you like me." Oleg said with a slight smile and Kinzie smiled back. That much was true, she did like him.

Kinzie just shook it off, "Can we just get breakfast?" Kinzie asked with an awkward laugh.

Oleg laughed too. "Sure my mousy one." Oleg replied. "Under one condition..."

"What?" She asked.

"Next time you feel like using one of these things... Why don't you call me instead?" Oleg asked, but he was all too serious and Kinzie was really speechless this time. And with that, the two were off to breakfast at smiling Jack's in no time.

Kinzie and Oleg walked along each other on the sidewalk of Steelport, the sun blazing down on them, and the two kept exchanging shy glances at each other as they continued on their journey to smiling Jack's. All Kinzie wanted to do was get some pancakes, and head back to her inner sanctum where she could ignore everyone again. It seemed as if Oleg had made this trip extremely awkward for them, and Kinzie wasn't sure what to do, or how to feel. They were almost to smiling Jack's, she was sure of it. The sooner this little trip was over, the better. "Oleg..." She began to say.

"Something bothering you?" Oleg asked as he glanced down at Kinzie, pulling the ginger out of her thoughts. Had he been able to tell what she'd been thinking? Impossible. Albeit, it was almost clear if you read the expression that Kinzie was giving on her pretty face right now. He knew that he had made her uncomfortable. "Hm?" Oleg persisted.

Kinzie shook her head, "N-Nothing..." She stammered, wanting to just forget this whole ordeal already. She couldn't get the Russian's words out of her head... Which were what he said about the sex toys. Did he really mean that? About using him for sexual pleasure next time? Kinzie couldn't even fathom that thought without becoming flustered and embarrassed. She had never been with someone in that way, and the thought of it just repulsed her slightly.

"Mousy one..." Oleg started with a shrug. "If this is about what I said earlier, then I take it back, okay?" He said to her as they finally arrived at smiling Jack's. "If it makes you feel uneasy, then we can forget that it ever happened..." He trailed off as he held the door open for the much small girl.

Kinzie nodded, "I just wanted to have some pancakes." She said simply. "Sorry you had to see all that." She added on, referring to her many toys that Oleg had spotted in her home. "Maybe someday... We can... You know..." She said as her voice got quieter and much more softer by the second; a very noticeable crimson blush rising on her cheeks. "Let's just talk about something else." She insisted as they walked into the diner.

"What topping would you like on your pancakes?" Oleg merely asked, forgetting the whole other conversation, and Kinzie was nothing but grateful for that. Maybe in the future, they could have a relationship, or sex, or whatever it was that Oleg wanted out of this. But right now, Kinzie was definitely not ready for that kind of human contact. She still had a lot of work on herself to do, and she hoped Oleg understood that. Maybe someday, Kinzie wouldn't need to use her toys anymore, and she wouldn't need those useless things.


End file.
